Afraid of Eating out in Public?
Countering this Body Image Neurosis with Positive Self-talk
May 6, 2009
People manifest a wide variety of neuroses. These may include the need to hand wash after any contact with objects or individuals, a deep distaste for things that are slippery or creamy, an aversion to one's teeth being seen while laughing or one's feet being viewed below a washroom stall and many other possibilities.
Women in particular are conditioned to feelultra aware of their bodies, what they look like and how they are being viewed in the public eye. Food consumption, connected as it is to nurture and acceptance or punishment and rejection, can often serve as a nexus for neuroses. One of these is the fear of eating in public, whether in a restaurant, at a party or even at a friend's house. Diminishing this anxiety can assist one to more fully enjoy life.
Why Would a Fear of Eating in Public Develop?
Food neuroses tend to develop quite early on in life. If one learned to connect food to rewards or punishments, then one's diet is usually marked by such preoccupations. Women are taught to focus, from the time they are little girls, on the level of their attractiveness. Such an obsession can lead to a hyper awareness and thus, an increased amount of anxiety, regarding what one puts in one's mouth or what one looks like while eating.
If told that one was or is too fat, then eating in public can make one more self conscious about those around judging food choices. Conversely, being too thin or having been/being anorexic or bulimic can also render one highly sensitive to the perceptions of others in terms of dietary decisions.
Some people are neurotic about the content of their food, its nutritional value, its caloric content, and even how it is prepared or served. Thus, eating in public can raise many often unanswerable questions that can diminish their desire or ability to eat.
Further, if one has obsessive compulsive disorder, the mind regularly needs to make lists. When faced with a buffet, for instance, an obsessive compulsive is overwhelmed by the number of foods he or she needs to enumerate in their minds prior to eating them. This process can complexify their ability to consume food.
What can one do to Diminish Anxiety Cause by Eating in Public?
At the core of one's fear towards or anxiety derived by eating in public is a terror that one will lose control. Food consumption and the effect it has on the body is directly associated with one's ability to control and order one's fate. The types of foods one eats in front of others, the way one eats them, worries about how they were prepared or nervousness connected to the consequences of consuming certain foods, whether it's weight gain or gas, can all result in a feeling of helplessness for the person struggling with this neurosis.
Self-talk is helpful in reducing anxiety related to food. Tell oneself that no one is watching or cares what is eaten or not, that listing specific items is unnecessary or that there are many things in life, including food preparation, that one cannot control. Remind oneself that one is a good person, worthy of food and allowed to have a positive body image.
Although people with such a neurosis will likely always find it a challenge to eat out in public, time spent with beneficial self-talk can work wonders in diminishing this particular fear and anxiety. Food doesn't have to be the centre of a mental battleground.
